Two main things I go out of the consultation that helped me to decide that I would pursue the LapBand procedure was this… 1) she has worked with people who are even heavier than I am and they have lost more than the predicted 50% of the excess weight. What was discouraging to me was everything I read said you could expect to lose 50-60%. Thats all fine and dandy, except it still doesn’t put me at what I would like to be my ideal weight. Actually, far from it. But, she reassured me at our consultation appointment that over 3 - 4, if I continued to what needed to be done, the goal could be achieved.

Which brought us to the 2nd reason for my decision. I need to find a nutrionist, and have them help me map out my life’s eating plan — based on what I will and won’t eat. Dr. B encouraged me by saying that sometimes, those picky eaters who will only eat 3 or 4 different things are more successful because they can endure the routine of eating the same thing, over and over. I just have the find the right 3 and 4 things. Basically, there isn’t anything I won’t be able to eat with the LapBand — its just a matter of finding what I WILL eat that has 1200 calories.

Which brings David’s point to light — if I can eat 1200 calories and lose weight with the LapBand, why not do it without spending the $12,000? And he’s right. And millions of people do it every day, with Weight Watchers and TOPS and all those other weight loss programs. But, obviously, I have tried them and not succeeded. What the LapBand does is makes the area where the “hunger sensors” are in your stomach become a much smaller area. So, instead of having to fill a fist sized area before it sends to the brain a “You are full” message — the LapBand has creates a much much smaller space. Its just a tool. Its still up to me to make the right choices. Although — if I make the wrong choices, I can and most probably will throw up. So, that is an incentative to do what needs to be done, the right way

Another phone call I need to make is to have a pysche evalutation done. That is one of the requirements before having surgery. Its not a bad idea, and perhaps can shed some light on what I do and why I do it. The key thing here is you have to pass the evaluation. The person you see has to be convinced that you are motivated enough to make the changes needed to make the longterm outcome of the surgery successful. If you think the surgery is a quick fix and is the answer to all your weight problems, then you probably won’t pass.

I feel like I am putting the cart before the horse by doing all these things before having a surgery date. But, each one of these things, if they can’t be done, for one reason or another, then surgery is out. So, I am trying to see it as … I have a goal (surgery), but step 1(finances), step 2 (nutrionist), step 3 (physche eval) all must be in place and with a positive outcome before proceeding to step 4 - setting a surgery date.

Make sense? It does to me. They all fit together like a jigsaw puzzle, and the picture won’t be complete until each piece is in place.

After viewing 3 informative videos, researching, and meeting with the doctor would be my surgeon, I do believe we have come to a decision. In a perfect world, where money was no object, we would probably go with the RYN. But. I have to be realistic here. $30,000 is alot of money. For anyone. I can’t bring myself to put us in that kind of debt. For any reason.

$12,000 is alot of money as well. But its also more realistic and obtainable. For one, the Lapband that we discussed does have a financing company they work with. That is step #1. If that doesn’t work, we do have a Plan B. It would take a bit longer, but thats OK. We just made the last payment on our camper. Now, instead of making payments to the bank, David is going to start making payments to a savings account. And I am going to start adding my paid blogging money into that account as well. It will take longer to do it this way, but its not a goal I’m giving up on.

Just deciding which procedure to do has given me more focus and motivation to move ahead. To stop living in limbo and do something about it. I’m tired of scraping bottom, and thats where I am. I feel like I am about 2 steps away from being housebound. The J.O.B.s are the only things keeping me from being there.

But, its not a place I want to be. Making a decision has mentally turned things around, even though they are just small things. I started taking my Fluoresimide again (translation: water pill). I know the signs. I’m in distress again, and to feel better, I have to get all this fluid off. To get all the fluid off, I have to pee, pee, pee. I have the “tools” to do it — medication designed to do exactly that. I stopped taking it because it was a catch 22. I do OK at home running to the bathroom. And I do OK at the church in the morning, when I work during the week. But. Running to the bathroom at the my afternoon job takes a bit more effort. Up steps, across the house. I can’t breath. So, I let one day of not taking them turn into 2, then 3 …and well, its probably been a month since I last took them. So, I’m starting over. At the lower dosage. And I vow to take them every day.

That, in itself will improve the state I’m in.

The next step is to  call a Nutrionist.

Even though I don’t know what lies ahead of me specifically, I do know that the process won’t be as easy as saying “OK, let’s do it”, and next week I’m having it done. Based on talking others, as well as Dr. B, there are appointments, meetings, counseling, and other things involved in this. Which makes sense. Bottom line is, even though its a very physical thing, what got me here in the first place place is an emotional and mental thing. Until those things are examined and changed, no surgery in the world will help. I see myself becoming my aunt, who had numerous — NUMEROUS — health issues. I don’t want to live like she did, dependent on others. Always in one health crisis or another.

For the longest time, I have viewed WLS as a way to lose weight. And, I have always no considered it an option because surely there is something else, not quite so drastic, that I could be successful at. When the doors of consideration opened — it was because of the health factors. Yes, being thin would be nice. I would love to not be like I am now. But, it was the reversing the health issues I now have that made me decided that this was an option I needed to consider.

Joshua 1:9: Don’t tremble or be terrified, because the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

I am putting my faith, and all my fears, in God’s hands right now. I don’t think it was by accident that the Cardiology appointment was right on the heels of the doctor’s appointment when I discovered I could add diabetes to my list of health issues. I don’t think it was by accident that this verse caught my eye at the moment it did.

Once I got beyond the “weight loss” of the surgery, and realized it could be a “health improvement” surgery, then, and only then, did I allow myself to consider this option. The doors are open now. Its time for me to step through and begin a whole new life.

Making the phone call.

My doctor’s nurse called me yesterday with lab results — they look good, so we didn’t have to change anything.  His other nurse called a little bit later, with a phone number that I was to call because I had expressed interest in WLS.  It was going on 5:00, so I decided that I would call today.

The call has been made.  I got an answering machine, but her hours are from 8:15 until 3:15 today, so I should know by the end of the day a bit more about what the next step is.

I am about to embark on the journey of my life.  Yes.  I know that just because I asked about information, and that my doctor is giving me a phone # to call, and is refering me, that I can, at any time, say “this isn’t for me”, and that will be that.  I’m not locked in.  But.  By the same token, emotionally, I need to put the blinders on, focus on my decision, and move forward.

OK.  First off.  My appointment.  It went well.  I had lost 11 lbs since my last appointment, 10 days ago.  This is not a “crash diet, lets see how much weight we can lose” kind of thing.  We are dealing with serious edema.  Serious enough that if we had insurance, he would have put my in the hospital several weeks ago.  Its not “in the moment” life threatening, but it is something that needs to be treated.  So, we are trying really hard to treat this at home.   So, that much water weight gone is a good thing, although, when he looked at my legs, he said there is still alot of water to go.  But, we’ll keep going in the direction we are going.  Probably.  Depends what my labs show tomorrow.  He did lab work, as well as my cardiologist wanted to do blood work when I saw him last week, and when I told him I was having lab work done this week week, he said we could just do them all together.  All in all, he was pleased with me today, and that was a good thing.

He was even more pleased when I told him what Dr. Joliff (my cardiologist) had said and that we had given it alot of thought, and was considering it, but wanted HIS opinion.  He was thrilled to death that I had given gastric bypass some consideration.  He knows it is a huge financial committment.  But, he said that they (the doctors who specialize in this) have this down to a science.  And that by having it done, it will cure my diabetes, my sleep apnea, the adema.  I will have energy and will be pain free (or at least less pain than I’m in now).  My joints won’t hurt.  My knees won’t hurt.    Sounds like a slice of heaven to me.   But.  I also know it will take alot of work and discipline on my part, in more ways than one, to make this happen.  I’m scared.  But I’m also scared not to do it.  I have to at least consider it.  Go through the free consolation part of it.  Make an educated decision, based on facts and health, and not based on emotions, being scared or not scared.

I’ve taken Step. One.

Question #1: What is one lifestyle change you would like to make during this program?I understand, and embrace the fact that it will take more than one lifestyle change to turn things around. But, I think it will all start with our eating habits. To learn how to eat right, nutritionally, and also in ways that addresses all of the health issues I have. As the book says, its never too late to make the changes and turn things around.

Its pretty basic. If I eat like I should, then weight will come off. If the weight comes off, then I will feel better. And, theoritically, the health issues should turn around as well. The blood sugar levels should go back to normal levels. My feet and ankles should not resemble balloons. I should be able to walk, stand, SHOP with ease.

Question #2: On page 8, the term “compression of morbidity” is used to describe a very important benefit for individuals who choose to live a healthy lifestyle. Do you understand how the compression of morbidity might affect your own life? If I understand this right, it means this — on a personal level. If I choose to live a healthy lifestyle, the length between a health crisis and death should be relatively short. More precise, if I choose NOT to live a healthy lifestyle, then I am in a state of dying right now. I am experiencing those health issues right now, and as time goes one, there will be more and more serious consequences for those health issues. I am so limited to what I can do right now. That is not living. I want to experience life. Not just get through it, painfully, and a burden to others.

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Questions Courtesy of

After fighting it all week, I straightened up and decided to fly right. For breakfast I had a Fiber One bar. For lunch, watermelon and beef jerky. And for supper, salad, and some grapes. During this week, we’ve had “Across the Borders” stuff — which would be chips and salsa, nachos with beef. And my blood sugar has hovered around 200, both morning and night.

But, this evening, after a day of fruits and vegetables, and a bit of fiber … the proof was in the pudding. My blood sugar level was 97. I just tested it a few minutes ago (11:00) and it was 169. Yes, still high. But definately not those “over 200″ readings I was getting. I get it. OK? I still don’t have a life plan, but I do get it now.